The fact is that there are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvelous things but who have poor self-esteem. Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors and comedians and singers in particular can seem to glow with assurance ‘on stage’, and yet off-stage many of them feel desperately insecure.

Indeed, individuals can be stunningly attractive and world-famous, and seem poised and perfect – yet still, deep down, find it hard to value themselves. Think of the late Princess of Wales and Marilyn Monroe and you’ll accept, I think, that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief.

So, if self-esteem isn’t quite the same thing as confidence, what is it?

Well, the word ‘esteem’ comes from a Latin word which means ‘to estimate’. So, self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.

To do that you need to ask yourself certain questions:
Do I like myself?
Do I think I’m a good human being?
Am I someone deserving of love?
Do I deserve happiness?
Do I really feel – both in my mind and deep in my guts – that I’m an OK person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer ‘yes’ to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them. If you

An adult who has healthy self-esteem was given this gift in childhood. This could have been done in many ways. Probably one of the most important is being praised for accomplishments. Children who are talked to respectfully and listened to also contributed to healthy self-esteem in adulthood. These children were hugged often and given attention and experienced some type of success in school or sporting activities.

On the other side of the spectrum, we have to identify the childhood for those adults who have poor self-esteem. These children were often criticized harshly, were yelled at or beaten, and were given little attention by those they were closest to. They were ridiculed and even teased as they experienced failures in their young lives. They were made to feel they had to be perfect in order to be valued and associated failure in situations as a failure of their whole selves.

It

Take this simple quiz.

Self-Esteem Assessment
Directions: Answer T if the statement is true for you. Answer F if the statement is false for you.

1.Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you’re used to focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh them. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy.
2.Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. Some people become paralyzed by perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, “I won’t audition for the play until I lose 10 pounds,” think about what you’re good at and what you enjoy, and go for it.
3.View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes because everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person’s talents are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things

Now, criticism is often unfair – and when it is we need to counter it by putting our own case succinctly and calmly. But some criticism is justified – and when we’re sensible we can learn from it.

Often when we’re criticized, we’re so hurt that we start excusing ourselves and rebutting what’s being said without really listening to it.

A mature, self-possessed person listens to criticism without interrupting. If there are aspects to the criticism that are valid, just begins by agreeing with those points. If you

You have other rights too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don’t forget that ‘to err is human’ and most of us do much of our learning through getting things wrong before we get them right.

Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves – and to be respected: this is very important. And finally – and perhaps most vitally of all – we have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for ourselves.

Many people with poor self-esteem think that they’re not very important and that their views carry no weight. Is this you? If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts; because if you go around believing them, you’ll encourage other people to believe them too.

Instead, start thinking of yourself – with your individual DNA, fingerprints and mind – as someone who has rights and opinions and ideas that are just as valid as anyone else’s. This will help you to improve your ’self-estimation’.
The key to positive self-esteem is to remember that you have control over your situation: When feeling glum about a character flaw, remind yourself that you can take action to change yourself and shape your future.
This is a good time to start journaling